An AppleScript/Bash combination to annoy theifs

Submitted by JacobBraun on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 23:15

So here's a combination shell script/launch daemon/AppleScript that, if computer is stolen, puts a sticky growl notification on the screen (every two seconds...repeatedly...filling the entire screen eventually) with your name and phone number, offering a cash reward if computer is stolen.

First here's the AppleScript, which I have saved under /etc/.stolen/StolenGrowlNotifier.scpt:

tell application "GrowlHelperApp"

        set the allNotificationsList to ¬

                {"Stolen"}

        set the enabledNotificationsList to ¬

                {"Stolen"}

        register as application ¬

                "Stolen Mac" all notifications allNotificationsList ¬

                default notifications enabledNotificationsList ¬

        notify with name ¬

                "Stolen" title ¬

                "This computer has been stolen." description ¬

                "Please call *phonenumber* for no questions asked cash reward." application name ¬

                "Stolen Mac" icon of file "file:///etc/.stolen/apple-lock-icon.icns" priority 2 with sticky

end tell

Next is a script which I've saved under /etc/.stolen/growlit.sh, chmodded to 755:

#!/bin/bash

## Written by Jacob Braun, http://five.jacobbraun.com

growlit=`grep true /etc/growlit`

## If $growlit is found to be true, then all hell breaks lose.

while [ $growlit == "true" ]; do

        COUNTER=0

        while [ $COUNTER -lt 10 ]; do

                osascript /etc/.stolen/StolenGrowlNotifier.scpt

                sleep 2

                let COUNTER=COUNTER+1

        done

        growlit=`grep true /etc/growlit`

done

exit 0

The third (really first) part of the script is another bash script called /etc/.stolen/isstolen.sh:

#!/bin/bash

## Written by Jacob Braun, http://five.jacobbraun.com

file=`grep false /etc/isstolen`

website=http://stolen.jacobbraun.com/phonehome

sleep 30;

phonehome=`(curl -s $website)`

if [ "$file" == "false" ]; then

        if [ "$phonehome" == "true" ]; then

                rm -rf /etc/isstolen

                /opt/local/bin/wget -P /etc http://yoururl/isstolen

                rm -rf /etc/growlit

                /opt/local/bin/wget -P /etc http://yoururl/growlit

                touch /etc/isstolen

                touch /etc/growlit

        fi;

fi;

exit 0

That script checks for a file called /etc/isstolen. If the file contains the words "false", sleep then try to redownload the file. If the file contents are "false" and the contents of the url with "phonehome" in it are true, it then downloads (using wget...I installed it via MacPorts, hence the /opt/local/bin for the path) the new isstolen file and growlit files. If growlit contains the word "true" then your computer will fill with sticky growl notifications asking for the computer to be returned.

The reason I touch both of the files is I'm going to have the script automatically run if the file is not touched every few days, ensuring that even if the computer does not have internet access, some crackhead somewhere will know to return it.